Vladimir Putin doesn't drink much but I bet he poured himself a glass of Rossiyskoye Shampanskoye (faux Champagne, made in Russia) after watching relations between Volodymyr Zelensky and Donald Trump melt down last Friday.
In the U.S., much of the commentary that followed the imbroglio in the Oval was reflexively partisan.
Those who have long despised the Ukrainian president – the Tucker Carlson wing of the GOP – gleefully reviled him as "disrespectful."
Some of those who can't abide the American president – including Democrats and #NeverTrump Republicans – regurgitated debunked Russia collusion allegations and called POTUS "Putin's lapdog."
Both factions have lost the plot.
For three years Mr. Putin has been waging a brutal and illegal war to transform Ukraine – an independent, democratic, nation-state that wants to join the American-led Free World – into a vassal or colony.
If he succeeds, expect him to use Ukraine's human and natural resources to force other European countries to kowtow – or worse – to the Kremlin.
That would be a gut punch to America's national security interests and to President Trump's efforts to reestablish America as a great power.
Mr. Zelensky doesn't comprehend why President Trump seems not to recognize this threat, why he is reluctant to distinguish between predator and prey.
I think this is the reason: Mr. Trump's approach to this dilemma – as to most dilemmas – is to make a deal.
To achieve that, he's been attempting to set himself up as the mediator, the honest broker.
If he's to play that role, he can't be Mr. Zelensky's partner. He also can't antagonize Mr. Putin. On the contrary, flattery is most likely to get the Russian ruler to the table.
What will emerge from such a palaver is not justice. But perhaps Mr. Trump can arrange a ceasefire. Perhaps he can turn a bloody stalemate into a bloodless stalemate. That's not nothing.
Mr. Putin will, of course, use a pause to re-arm and reorganize for the next round. But that's also when the Ukrainians can – indeed must – arm themselves to the teeth, establishing the deterrent capability they lacked three years ago.
Let me say a few more words about what happened Friday.
Mr. Zelensky is tired. He's leading a nation fighting for its very existence. He's offended that Mr. Trump called him a dictator, said he was unpopular at home, and has refused to blame Mr. Putin for starting the war.
Nevertheless, Mr. Zelensky had specific tasks to perform at the White House: Sign the minerals deal that had already been negotiated and which would economically bind the U.S. to Ukraine, effusively thank Mr. Trump, eat lunch, shake hands, and skedaddle.
Instead, he attempted – on camera and in a foreign language – to re-negotiate a better deal, to get a specific "security guarantee."
That turned a ceremonial occasion into a mission impossible and, much as I admire Mr. Zelensky, he's no Ethan Hunt.
As for the security guarantee, what would it say?
In 1994, Ukraine surrendered its nuclear weapons in exchange for the Budapest Memorandum, in which the U.S., UK, France, and Russia committed to respect Ukraine's sovereignty and existing borders, and refrain from the threat or use of force against Ukraine.
Fat lot of good that did.
What Mr. Zelensky wants is a NATO-like promise that, should Mr. Putin violate whatever ceasefire is arranged, Americans will battle Russians. That's about as likely as me getting signed to play next season for the Harlem Globetrotters.
Mr. Trump is furious with Mr. Zelensky. Nevertheless, the right thing for the Donald to do now is to tell Mr. Putin: "Look, I threw Volodymyr out the back door because he wasn't ready for peace. Now I need to know that you're ready. Because if you're not, there will be serious consequences."
I'm hopeful that Mr. Trump perceives that if he were to abandon Ukraine, his legacy would be indelibly stained.
Historians of the future would say that President Trump followed in the footsteps of President Biden who abandoned Afghanistan and President Obama who abandoned Iraq – all three sliding down the slippery slope of American decline.
And know this: Xi Jinping is watching. And he's eyeing Taiwan.
Which raises another concern: the possibility that Mr. Trump believes he can persuade Mr. Putin to break his "no-limits" partnership with China's ruler who is the leader of an axis that also includes Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the Iranian jihadi leader, and Kim Jong Un, North Korea's dynastic dictator.
These diverse despots have one common goal: to diminish – or, if they can, destroy – American power and preeminence once and for all.
As Lenin would say: What is to be done?
One: Mr. Zelensky should get the American president on the phone and apologize – profusely. He should say that of course he wants peace (though what's really on offer is only a cessation of hostilities). He should mention that a signed copy of the deal will be on the president's desk soonest.
He'd be well-advised to make clear that he's not expecting American combat troops to be deployed to Ukraine – only that Ukrainians be helped to obtain the means to defend themselves from their enemy who also is an enemy of America.
Two: It's high time for European leaders to stand up to Moscow and the other regimes waging a war against the West.
On Saturday, Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk said: "Five hundred million Europeans are asking 300 million Americans to defend them against 140 million Russians...Europe today lacks the belief that we are truly a global power."
Right. So, make Europe great again!
Historian Niall Ferguson has proposed that the Europeans utilize roughly $300 billion of frozen Russian foreign-exchange assets to support Ukraine's rearmament and compensate Russia's victims.
That would be a good start.